Sober

It's my last bottle, need to stay a little longer
It's not so bad, takes away the black, when I won't see any farther
You might understand me, I'll never understand you
Pained in your heartaches, a place you would run from if you only knew

I'll drive all night, for you to stop shaking
Inside my head, wish it was me instead, want your heart to stop breaking
I'll question it, and you'll ask what for
Why you can't God'am cry anymore

No one around
Free you from ghosts that tide
I'll be there I promise
A familiar reflection in your eyes

Shadowed lights, on those empty streets
When you can't hold the pain, with broken chains, you'll only see
Faded rules, and empty grace
Doesn't change, you're still that angel and your beautiful face

It's my last drink, at a place where I'll stay
Forever, this movie plays, where your by my side today
And when stars get low, only one thing you need to know
I'll hold your hallowed smile, wherever I might go

No one around
When your hands are tied
I'll be there I swear
Never once stopped hearing your cries

Look up again, can you take my hand
There's somewhere we have to go
Don't be afraid, you're still the same
Just let me take you home

Pale Blue Dot (Carl Sagan)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJE_Ld-UyCk

See You At Sabato!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xVZtzwvfE0E

Maybe Back Home

I do not care. It does not mean much. I still will trust as best I can, but hearts run empty.

Forget everything you know. It is all okay. The bleeding hearts, the hardened hearts, and the hearts which no longer are, let them be.

I wake sometimes grateful for escaping my dreams. I wake comforted by the silence. Savour every damn second when you smile. Savour it.

To care is to be blessed. It heals, it rewards, it is peace. It is a curse.

I wonder of the motives of the human mind, and the desires of human flesh. Now I laugh at the stupidity of the human heart. How truly tortured it can be.

Share what you have. Share what is in your heart. Share your soul. Let it it be carried where it was meant to go. Let it go. It may find it's way somewhere. It may go nowhere.

Take your risk. Steal someone's soul. Do what needs to be done for the moment. Close your eyes for good. You might see where it all leads.

Find me if you want. I will be somewhere, or so I say. We all will be found somewhere.

Maybe back home.

What's My Function?

Excrement is the unwanted of the body

Wax of the ear is the shield of audation

Wax of the eyes hold plenty a dreams

Gas from below is air poo

Field of Wankers

Stardust

I don't know what it is like to be defenceless in the grips of evil, or have had my soul tempted or stolen forever. Unfortunately, I see the world as a remarkable place, where remarkable people seem more out of reach.

Being born a bastard child of the tenth degree, never weighed heavy on my shoulders until now.

Ripples cast on the river years ago, made there way to shore and back. I am at the banks of that river, and I can clearly see the very point where the stone first hit the water. It is when the ripples resonated back to its source, did the waters become calm again.

I can see all that has happened, and all who I have come across. Like all of us, I was born into a script that played out beautifully.

As I close my eyes and smile, I will let the anger, judgement, pity, insensitivity, false assumptions, envy, greed, and deception, played out, pass over me.

Like generations past, I will reach down to pick up another stone, and take aim at the river. I will throw it as far as I can. When my hands transform to stardust, those ripples on the river will have made there way to shore and back again. Hopefully then, the one standing at the bank looking back, will smile wider, and boldly look forward.

Ask Me To Dance

I've driven down that road many times over. A steep drop, followed quickly by an ascension back to reason. Trees line both sides, blanketing the fears which swirl around me. The night sky sees my soul. The music plays in the background like a friend who never fails to understand. I can't help, but smile. I may feel alone, but I am my best companion when I know the weaknesses and fortunes of me. I will not waiver when my heart is questioned and pushed. It is the least I owe to the man behind the darkened glass. Fear can pound hard against your chest, and render you paralyzed at your most peaceful moments. Heartache can tear your soul apart, and alter the lens through which you see the world. It will bend your soul, and paint it with the darkest colours not known to exist. It will push you against the cement wall, until you beg for mercy. What will all of this make of me? Maybe nothing at all. It may all be simple facts, and nothing more. I once read that, someones soul can be seen through their eyes. I close mine for now, until the next morning when a glow will give me courage to open them again. I will drive in the dark again, with the stars above reminding me to smile every step of the way. Maybe one day the roads will level a little more, and the music in the background will ask me to dance.

It's Okay

Just got in from walking the dog. He is a mini pincher in his twilight years. The wind is howling outside. It is peaceful. 12:28 am reads on the clock. I've got a late night drive through order of a Big Mac snack rap and junior chicken. The 'Celestine Prophesy' by James Redfield sits on my desk to my right. Just purchased it today! An unopened Budweiser tall-boy sits on my desk as well. 'I just opened it'! Taking the last few bites of the junior chicken. Now taking a sip of the tall boy.

Earlier, lost a playoff game in a men's Tuesday night hockey league. Even with the loss, it was fun. Had half a beer just before the game, and had another three, after. Yes, I am a sinner. Drove two of my friends home. For those who question my actions, had a good size dinner, which diluted most of the alcohol. Would not have driven If I knew it was a mistake. Really don't care what anyone thinks. It doesn't matter!

Spoke to both my friends in the truck. Both are individuals who are generous, and just like the rest of us, are making their way through this freakish world. For some it hasn't been freakish. For some it has been a hell.

A quarter of the beer is gone. Wish the feeling would last.

A few of my friends in the change room earlier, were smoking the ganja. The second hand was smooth and soothing. The beer was ample.

The beer is okay. The marijuana is okay. The violence isn't, neither is the stupidity. Reality, as we know it is beautiful at times, but can be a nightmare as well. I know the world is more than the bullshit we have been dealt. The beauty is somewhere as well.

Escape this world. We need to sometimes. Like white sands and palm trees. I will fall asleep with a smile. I hope I wake with comfort.

Love. Friendship. Compassion for a brother, a sister, a stranger. Compassion for your soul. We need it.

Betting on the horses live online from Australia as well . It is calming.

Easy for me to sit back and use my time as I wish. No real dependents. No real responsibilities. No little ones.

I hold these feelings, these insights, these understandings of the heart, as long as I can. The real world is anything; the air you breath, the hands you touch, the hearts you warm. My reality will count for those who want to count it.

Wake up from this trance, or reality. Wake up tomorrow with a smile, with humility, with a boldness!

12-16-22-5

It grips your sword when the wicked come forth
And loosens the hold in the face of mercy
It shows you worlds that your hands cannot touch
And brings you to places only your heart can feel
It is laughter, it is hope, it is reason
It will expect you to tread in oceans of tears
Yet it will question, starve you, and break you down
Until you take that deep breath, and open your eyes once again
Own it, live it, set it free
It will become something you will hold infinitely
Understand it, challenge it, and believe
Give it it's rightful immortality